WELCOME!

 
I'm going to invite you to set the intention for this journey before you actually begin. To know that these are seeds that you can choose to plant within your heart, and then learn to be the gardener of for the rest of your life. To learn from my walk, but find the confidence to choose your own road. To Love Yourself, radically, forever.

Step 1:
To create a little space in your home where you go and practice this new Self-Love.

It is allowed to evolve over the next month, but starting where you are and having a space that physically reminds you that you have choice to enter and choice to leave, is so beautiful. To honor yourself and learn to Love your journey, because this is all for you. 

Step 2:
What helps you process most? A journal, speaking it aloud, drawing, dancing? Add this element to your safe space. 

It, too, is allowed to evolve over the next month, but starting where you are is a reminder that you're not starting from scratch. You're just finding your new brave.

You are capable. You are loved. You have choice. You are supported. Always.
 
 
 
 

THE PURSUIT OF INNER POWER



THE LITTLE WHISPER ACTIVITY

This week is all about loving yourself permanently, so I thought it befitting to kick off the third section of The Grace Course by inviting you to do just that; Love yourself. Not just how you think you should, not just how you used to, but how you need to be Loved, right now. 
 

  • Over the course of this...course, we are learning to take modalities of healing and make them our own. Taking the "Skyler Seeds and becoming the Gardener," as we say here in unicorn land. Regardless of what you are doing in life, or what you are focused on, making something personal means that you are actively willing to shift from where you were and into a new place of living. You are creating change from an internal level, before you even see it manifest on an external level. Which is why it takes consistency. It is the pursuit of inner-power, and inner power (unlike anything else) never leaves us. 
  • It's weird to shift focus onto us, when for so long we are focused on destinations or milemarkers or successes that only "nodded" to our inner-power but mainly focused on the external. We are constantly striving forward but we often forget to look around that when we reach what we've been killing ourselves to reach, we're like "WTF". It isn't enough. And, if it doesn't satisfy our want, we blame ourselves because we're told that we should be happy there. So, we keep running ourselves into the ground...and ignore that tiny little whisper that says "You don't need to do this." 
  • That little whisper? That tiny little blip in your over-crowded radar is what we are working on reclaiming. What we're striving to make the main responder to all things we face, all things we do, all things we feel led to do, and all things we are. Instead of filling up the screen until it blurs with chaotic noise of "shoulds," "what ifs," "buts," and "becauses" we are slowly and gracefully (get it hehe) looking at WHY we felt led to choose the endless noise, over the quiet whisper. Because if we don't know why we felt safer in the unsafe, we will never really be able to choose something else. 
  • So, dear warrior, what is that little whisper saying today? Where is it leading you? What does your mind, body, and soul require after a week of learning what it feels like to face that ground zero shit, instead of just the patterned overcomings?


Homework: Give it to yourself. Ask for it. Write it down. Receive. 
 
Mantra/Prayer/Meditation: I am more than what I have overcome, but what I have overcome is real. I am allowed to mourn the things I have given up in order to feel safer in the unsafe. I am allowed to be angry about all the times I was taught I am unlovable or less. I am allowed to give to my heart that which nobody else was able to give. I am purusing my inner power, because I am. 


 
 
 
 

TO KNOW

 
 
 

LOVE NOTES:

  • I am allowed to spend time with my own heart, and learn to Love myself for who I am, whole and real.
  • All of me is allowed. 
  • It is a joy to walk through the places I am faithfully choosing to reclaim. To learn more about myself, simply for the purpose of loving my mind, body, and soul well. 
  • I am learning to be proud of where I stand, even if I hope of walking further.
  • I am invited to make peace with my own full length mirror.

REMINDERS:

Past’s Voice - fear, isolation, blame, heaviness.

Love’s Voice - forgiveness, grace, understanding, validation, support, truth.

Your Voice - unique, powerful, important, human.

 
 
 

 

INTENTION:

Today is all about being a new kind of grateful. What do I mean by that? Well, our old grateful (or at least mine) meant that I needed to demand gratitude from myself, even if I didn't feel it. Like most things in my life, I've had to redefine  the definition and reclaim the feeling for myself. Grateful used to mean gritted teeth and false truths. Now, grateful means breathing. To breathe in the moments where I sit back and sincerely enjoy who I am as a person, even as I overcome or strive or heal. To breathe in the spaces where I used to fill with noise. To breathe and giggle and twirl in the silence that I used to hate.

So, today we're going to practice a new kind of grateful. Not just grateful for the work you've already done, but for the person that you are. Mind, body, soul. Of walking through the Soul Garden we are learning to tend to, and looking around for a moment. Not just to appraise, but to enjoy. Not just on the Soul Ground, but at the expanse. Of stepping up to our full length mirror and talking to the wrinkles, the freckles, the dimples, the eyes, the rolls, the "too much" or "too little," the uniqueness, inside and the external. Not just to find beauty in them, but to know them. To know you, whole, and know how to access that space as we grow.

We're more than our body, but we also get to love them. We're more than our physical, but we also get to tend to them. We are our souls, and in order to make our soul comfortable, we have to recognize the type of environment they are living in. I used to fill my body with drugs and hatred. I use to starve it to erase the pain. I have walked many dark roads, and even so, I never truly lost my light...and neither have you. 

So, today, this week, this year. Let us remind ourselves of that Light. Of the one we carry and how it lives in even those most untouched places within (or outside) us. Let us talk to it, listen to it, and love it well. Learning how it leads us, how it manifests in us, how it transforms our view of things we've done or have had done to us. How it invites us into Love, always; even when we hold on for dear fucking life and want to roll around in our mud instead. (Been there.) Let us reclaim the reflection we see, by flooding the mirror with that Light. 

Homework - 
How am I spending my days? How do I respond to my heart leadings; do I hear them or am I still only truly listening or recognizing when I sit back and make time to do this course? Am I present or am I numb? Do I know?
 

  • We're stepping into a zone where I want us to start taking note of how we're responding to ourselves; our emotional needs, our reactions, our bodies, our minds, etc. We're uncovering more and more about who we are as we choose to authentically walk this out and it's always so important to step back and breathe. To listen to ourselves and our needs, because they are totally going to shift as we continue to shift. 
    • There is no "right way," but there is certainly a way. Your way, beautiful soul. And, that. Right there. That is where it shifts from demand into permanent self love. 
  • How can you/have you begun to make this work your own and how has it helped you, thus far?
    • I invite you to write down all the things you've done in your journey, not just throughout this course, but your life. How many things have you done solely for you?
      • My list a few years ago would have been very short. My list now is even something that I get to work on, because most of my action is brought forth for the benefit of others. However, as I began to examine much of what I had thought was just "toss away," I began to realize that a lot of my so-presumed "dirty" aspects of survival and life were something that I could actually start using for my own benefit. Collecting all the discarded fragments, like sea shore pebbles, and bringing them home.
      • For example: I like to be in control. I like to feel like I am having a say in my life, because for so long I didn't I didn't have control, and thus I took control through an eating disorder and drug addition. It was the only thing I knew then, but like our beloved Maya Angelou said: When you know better, do better. 
      • For a long time I associated that control with those addictions and thus I thought of it as dirty, bad, or ugly. However, control is a natural part of being human, and totally ignoring it created a bigger monster. I carried it within me, pretending it didn't exists because it "shouldn't," and I started to hate myself for it. I shushed the control, and shushing it created this distain for my body. Which is, oddly enough, how I now notice when I feel that lack of control rise within me.
      • You see, through healing, I've come to understand that the things I used to push aside now had space to live within my Soul Garden in new and redeemed ways. Emotions, scars, memories, freckles, anger, control, grief, dimples. All of the above. But it took being shaken awake (because I'm stubborn) in order to recognize that the things I used to quiet are not bad at all, they were just amplified because they were trying to be noticed. 
      • Thus, the journey of walking through my Soul Garden, for the sole purpose of knowing who I was, began. To recognize that I carry my control in the shape of my thighs and when I dislike them, I'm usually in need of some solo time. I get to communicate with my control, and find new ways for her to be present in my life. Whether that's through cleaning, or organizing a planner, or making a killer baked dish. I get to honor that need, and in doing so also choose to guide control into an area that is benefiting to my life. Ah, self-love. 

What areas in your life do I silence? What pieces of my Soul Garden get ignored until they're huge and come out wonky? How can I start to converse with them? How can I honor them and reclaim them?

  • Step 1: Throwing it back to our solo time, and defining it time, we're going to start recognizing where our body holds tension. We've been doing it for some time now already, but this is deeper. This isn't just the "anxiety" or "sadness," this is the "I feel my control in my thighs" type shit. 
  • Step 2: Starting to slowly communicate with that tension by either writing it down, talking about it with a friend, or even singing it out with a song. "I like my thighs and I cannot lie" (the silly is strong today!) Find what works for you, and allow yourself to sway into it. 
  • Step 3: Learn about how to use whatever was held tightly in that tension in your life, in fruitful and new ways. Be grateful for it, instead of ashamed of it.


Pep Talk -

I understand the pain of being ashamed of things, and then the circle guilt train that comes along with it. "I should be grateful because I have more than them," "I should feel better about this because..." "I should just suck it up". I've been there, and I will always have the same response: you are allowed to feel what you feel, because you're feeling it.

That doesn't mean we need to act on everything we feel, but that we can allow ourselves to feel it in safety, without silencing it...and then watching it come out in action later on, because we ignored it. Permanent Self-Love begins at the roots, just like every other thing I teach does. We get the opportunity to heal there, and the rise beyond, because we can. 

So, I just want to say it to you, beautiful soul, I am proud of you. I am so utterly proud of how far you've come and what you're doing here, in this sanctuary space. You are important, all of you is valid, and I am here for you. Always. 

Mantra/Prayer/Meditation -

I am open to listening to my whole heart, and I am allowed to embrace even the messiest pieces of my soul with love and tenderness. I am choosing to reclaim the pieces of myself that I used to discard from fear, and redefine my relationship with them. I am beautiful, I am whole, I am healing, because I am loved. I am loved, because I am. 


 
 
 
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TO MAKE THE CONNECTION

 
 
 

LOVE NOTES:

  • I am choosing to open my hands to the parts of myself that I may not understand. 
  • I am choosing to care for the bruised parts of my soul, and extend comfort to my inner child.
  • I am allowing myself to be angry for the times my heart was mistreated.
  • I am reclaiming who I am from the parts of myself that were forced to conform, with Grace and attention. 
  • I am open to receive whole love, even if that begins with healing from the times healthly love was absent. 
  • I am important, and I am worthy of a lifelong commitment.



REMINDERS:

Past’s Voice - fear, isolation, blame, heaviness.

Love’s Voice - forgiveness, grace, understanding, validation, support, truth.

Your Voice - unique, powerful, important, human.

 
 


 

INTENTION:

Expanding upon some of the deep work we began yesterday, today we are going close up and personal to the pieces of ourselves that we are beginning to reclaim, and comfort them. To those bruised, broken, scared, and maybe even at times annoying parts of ourselves and learn how to communicate with them on new levels. We began with gratitude, and now we're making it even more personal, with deeper love: compassion.

You know me, I'm all about teaching you to connect with your body so that you are aware of who you are and thus what you need, no matter if you're triggered, pissed, scared, or fearful of what is within or outside you. That you know who you are and you know Your Voice, so that you feel confident using it. We can create as many habits we want if we're consistent with them, you know the good old 21 day rule, but this is more than just a shift of habits. It is a revolution of permanent self-love, that is powerful...because it's yours. Not hers, theirs, his, or anyone else's version of gratitude, compassion, and connection but yours. 

I remember meeting new pieces of myself as I started (and continued) this healing journey, and most of them were great. Most of them were beautiful. Most of them nourished me, and made me feel whole. Then, one day, I reached this place where I was invited to exhume the parts of my heart that I had to bury deep down inside myself, in order to survive. It is beautiful to feel the safety I felt, that you will feel when you reach this place, but it is also terrifying. Why? Because you have to understand why you buried yourself in the first place. 

It's not just the roots that we are tending to, in our Soul Ground, it's the pieces of us that were left in the ground when the earth shook and ripped us from our foundation in the first place. When the rugs of life pull out from underneath our feet, and we don't even have a chance but to survive. What a gift it is to choose to redeemed even them, even when it's hard. 

 

Homework - 

How can I start to add compassion into my self-love? What would that feel like to give myself Grace?
 

  • You're amazing, you're capable, you can kick major ass and have your whole life. This is more than just self-care and rest, this is self-love made whole. Grace for the moments where you only respond with emotion. Grace for the times that a trigger comes and you react to the trigger instead of the present experience. Grace for the pieces within that frustrate you, like when you continue to choose the hardest roads. 
  • This is a daily act that is learned and chosen. This will be unique for you, because compassion and grace are just as personal as everything else we're doing. 

How can I start to nurture the pieces of my heart that I am uncovering, and continue to uncover?
 

  • What would it look like to create a vision board of your full length mirror?
    • Step 1: List all of the qualities that you know you are, and have within you. From the quirks to the color to the black and white to the power to the shiny to the in-between. 
    • Step 2: Lay out these pieces of your heart, and list beneath each what makes those pieces feel validated. 
      • Example: I am spiritual, and my spirituality is validated and seen as I walk in nature without any technology. Just listening to the wind and talking with God. 
    • Step 3: Take whatever you'd like to collage on, and write down the pain that weighed down these pieces of your soul. 
    • Step 4: Collect images, colors, art, anything and everything that amplifies the qualities of these soul pieces. Make a collage on top of the pain you just wrote down, with words or no words, and fill up a space with new life.
    • Step 5: Share it with someone who sees you. Write a poem about the experience. Dance it out. Honor your journey.
  • Balancing the dance into the depths with your creative voice is something that allows you to balance the healing road and connects you to the permanence of what we're trying to create. If you hustle through it, you will burn out. 

 

Pep Talk -

You are allowed to choose how deep you wade into the water, always. You are allowed to use the tools we have already refurbished and use them to set boundaries in this walk into permanent self-love. You are are capable of doing everything you need to do, but you do not have to do everything today. 

You have support, and you know what you need. This journey of permanence doesn't mean that you will always feel the love, it means that you are actively choosing the love. 


Mantra/Prayer/Meditation -


I am seen, I am felt, I am safe. I am worthy of wading into the depths as I choose, and my choices are valid because they're mine. Reclaiming my wholeness can look however it needs to look for me. I am whole and I am healing and I choose self love, because I am.


 
 
 
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TO BE YOUR OWN GUIDE

 
 
 

LOVE NOTES:

  • I am worthy of my own trust. 
  • I am a leader of my own heart.
  • I can be confident in the steps I choose to take, because I redefining what it means to live on my own terms. 
  • Love is with me, I am not alone.



REMINDERS:

Past’s Voice - fear, isolation, blame, heaviness.

Love’s Voice - forgiveness, grace, understanding, validation, support, truth.

Your Voice - unique, powerful, important, human.

 
 

INTENTION:

 

There is no better person to lead your own heart than you. To know your heart, than you. To be the pursuer of your heart, than you.

I know at times that can be terrifying, and even often frustrating. We're human beings who crave connection. We crave for others to know what we need and how to nurture us, even when we don't even know how to do it ourselves. We want our loved ones, significant others, and family to see us and recognize the need, and know how to respond. Especially in times of healing, struggle, and growth being comforted and led is so life-giving. 

Regardless of where you are in this self-love journey, regardless of how brave and intelligent and wise you are, regardless of anything at all...it is a human response to feel this. You are allowed to even feel a twinge of it. You are allowed to have those feelings validated here. You are invited to feel them, and then know that you have the tools and resources to seek those things that you need. Because what we're doing here is powerful. 

We're giving you the understanding of yourself on a deeper level than ever before, alongside the confidence and power to use Your Voice to claim it.

I remember the days where I sat and mourned the fact that the people who were meant to love and protect me, were actually the people who almost killed me. Our self-love and understanding of partnership is so heavily connected to our childhood. No matter if your childhood was beautiful or horrendous, we get the opportunity to reclaim that love language and our voice here and now. To take care of our inner child and their needs, and know how that feels. 

For me it began very young. I had to be the owner of my heart, and many times I fucked it up. I chose the wrong people, the wrong roads, the wrong everything. It took time for me to sway into balance with my assertive voice, and I'm still learning it today. Not only with myself, but with others. To not just continue to take it until I burst, but also to not just isolate out of fear that I will be hurt again. I am pursuer of my own heart. I know how to romance myself, to love myself, to care for myself, to uphold boundaries with myself, to set intention with myself, because of this work. 

And, now it transfers over into my relationships and my work. I know who I am, and how to take care of me, so I know what to seek and what to expect. I am not seeking to be made full by people, solely. I don't have to operate from a continuously empty cup anymore. I get to rise, and seek, and receive from a stable place, all the time. 
 

Homework - 

 

What does it look and feel like for me to lead? To be assertive with my choices, and make them with confidence? To use my voice?
 

  • How would it feel to practice speaking your mind this week, with people you feel safe with? To not just say "whatever works," but to speak your truth, ask for your needs to be met, and bridge the gap between understanding and truthful. 
    • "Actually, I'm having a hard moment right now and could really use someone to sit next to me and just listen as I process."
    • "I would prefer if we went here for dinner, thanks for asking."
    • "I need some help with the chores today, because this week has been stressful. If there is anywhere that you feel comfortable assisting, I would really appreciate it."
    • "My emotions are very surface level right now. I think I need some quiet space to ground myself before we continue any heavy discussions. I want to be sure that I'm responding from a stable place, and not just a reaction-oriented place. Thanks for understanding." 
    • "No. Thanks though."
    • "I can't come out tonight, I hope it's fun!"
    • "I need a little more time on this project. Could we push the deadline back even a few hours? I want to be sure that I'm bringing my best to the table, and I am still tweaking a few things." 
    • "Thank you for your concern. I'm taking some time for myself right now, but I appreciate your care." 
    • "I want to go out tonight, I would love it if you joined me."
  • So often we presume that we're not loved if others do not love us the way we want to be loved. Or maybe even that our love is not received, because it isn't being recognized the way we want it to be. There is a distinct difference between being rude and speaking your truth, and it's going to take time to learn how to do that well. How to gauged what verbage to use around certain people, which boundaries to uphold with those noisy relatives, and/or how to prioritize our energy output when we're healing and growing. You are allowed to state your needs, and you are allowed to say "No" without explanation. 
  • Being the leader of your own heart and life doesn't just mean knowing what you need, but knowing how to ask for it and receive it. Today we're practicing asking and receiving, whether or not you're putting up a boundary with yourself or someone else. 

What would it feel like to take myself out on a date? To give my body the food it craves? To cook myself a fancy dinner? To sit in bed all Sunday and watch black and white films? To read that book? To buy that holiday trip? To listen, when I'd rather silence? To pursue my soul, and learn what I need to thrive?
 

  • Much like the boundaries and communication above (and throughout the course) we also get to set the stage for a different type of love in our lives. Romance!
    • It may seem strange and weird to pursue your own heart, at first, but it is one of the most beautiful expressions of care. To recognize your needs, and fulfill them. The power in that is incredible, and it sets the stage for understanding how to lead and guide ourselves in through out chosen relationships. 
    • Example: I'm having a hard day at work. Everything is going wrong, I just feel burnt out, I am doing all I can to stay on top of my self care and the house. I am just done. My body aches, my heart is heavy, and my triedness is coming out as anger. What I could really use is acknowledgement. 
    • On the way home I pas a local flower stand, and instead of passing it, I stop and pick up some flowers. I don't have too much to spend today, but my heart is already dancing when I see them wrap up those colorful blooms, and as I walk to the car I realize how validated I feel. How I seen and edified just this small act can make my heart feel. 
    • Self romance can look however it needs to for you. Some days I find myself with a glass a wine and a good book, snuggled up near the window. Some days I splurge and take myself to a nice dinner and enjoy every single bite. Other times I draw a bath and play music. The difference between self care and self romance is the intention. Every one of those acts is something I feel romanced by, because they are birthed from me acknowledging my needs and going out of my way to fill them...because I'm worth it.

hat would it feel like to take a stand against the onslaught of negative thoughts that enter my head? To metaphorically stand up to the inner critic and role play with the negativity? 
 

  • Turns out, we're undeniably more assertive when it comes to advocating for others, than ourselves. So, what would it feel like to use that power for us, instead? To take to Critic's Voice/Past's Voice with Our Voice? To role play with the negativity, and maybe even get a little...angry. 
  • Example: One of my coping skills was an Eating Disorder I had developed as I sought for control. As I sought to cry out for help, without words. The after-effects of that were great, and something I still carry today in my body. From my bones, to my teeth, to my tummy, the eating disorder truly affected me on every level. However, in the beginning the most challenging aspect was the ED Voice. The worthlessness, fear=mongering, and cruelty. Some days I just had to tell the voice to stop. I had to verbally communicate with the ED by speaking my truth, aloud. 
  • "I am not ruled by you, I have been set free. My body is powerful, strong, and supports me in my life. I am in awe of what it is capable of, and how I can stand when I shouldn't be able to walk. I am not owned by your words, or trapped by your anger. I have choice, now watch me use it."
  • Communicating with our "negative" emotions is similar to role playing with an event or even a person who we could not receive the desired outcome with, if we did it face to face. Often I would communicate my anger to my extended family for not helping me by role playing out what I couldn't ever do in person. Sometimes I would role play with a present day event that truly felt icky, and uncover what triggered me. Often I use this tool to simply ground myself, when I don't have any other choices.
  • Being the leader of your own heart can look and feel however you need it to. You call the shots, and you bring the love.

 

Pep Talk -

Leadership is divine. Leadership is an opportunity. Leadership invites us to be intentional, but sometimes that intention shifts into undue pressure. You know, the kind that causes expectation and guilt, rather than freedom and power.


I trust you enough to sit back and recognize that rise within you. I trust you enough to acknowledge it after it happens, and learn. I trust you to do what you need to do to be the leader of your own heart, the way it deserves. 

 

Mantra/Prayer/Meditation -


I choose to walk the darkened pathways of my soul, in order to uncover myself from the deep waters. To know all of me, and no longer be estranged from the pain of my past but collect my truth and welcome it home. To till my soil, and tend to the ground, as much as the life growing from it. To be a leader, because I am.


 
 
 
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THE RELEASE OF THE PERFECT "_____"

 
 
 

LOVE NOTES:

  • Who I am is more than the external, more than the past, and more than the present.
  • What I feel does not define me.
  • I am inviting myself to release the weight of perfection, and the responsibility of holding everything together.
  • I am worthy of receiving even if....
  • I commit to choosing me, over the rules others set for me or the rules I set for me.
  • I am whole, and still healing.
  • I am enough. 




REMINDERS:

Past’s Voice - fear, isolation, blame, heaviness.

Love’s Voice - forgiveness, grace, understanding, validation, support, truth.

Your Voice - unique, powerful, important, human.

 


INTENTION:

Like all things we work on, there is an aspect of surrender in everything. To acknowledge our pain is a surrendering of denial. To acknowledge our truth is a surrendering of what no longer is true. To acknowledge our worth is a surrendering of the chains that used to bind us. To acknowledge Our Voice is a surrendering of Past's Voice. To commit to permanent Self-Love is to surrender perfection. 

Perfection takes on many shapes and forms, but most often it is masked under the guise of successes. You are successful when you reach that goal, you are successful when you have that purse, you are successful when you are making X amount of money, you are successful when you look this way. It's all about the destination mentality, which never allots for present gratitude. We are constantly pushing forward, because if we don't, we won't reach that goal...and therefore we won't be worthy. 

Permanent Self-Love does not mean that you're always going to love yourself. We are human beings, and we are stubborn, frustrating, reactive, challenging, beautiful, wondrous creatures. It is the most beautiful act to allow ourselves that journey of life, fully unbound and free. To stand upon our Soul Ground and say "Wow, life looks pretty shite on the outside, but I feel confident that by standing here and doing what I feel led, I won't be without." Because life isn't a race, everything that is meant for us is meant for us for always. Everything that isn't, we will feel pressured to clench onto so it doesn't run. Differentiating between the two, now that's powerful. 

The sacred surrendering that comes from self-forgiveness doesn't just allow us to reclaim ourselves, once again, from all the "shoulds" of this world, but it gives us permission to be human. To be enough, even if...
 

Homework - 

What would it look like to sit down and write out all of the rules I make for myself? 
 

  • Now, this is an interactive assignment that you can participate in 1-of-2 ways: 
    • Option 1: A planting ceremony.
    • Option 2: A writing ceremony.
  • Option 1: Nature is something that truly teaches us the art of surrender and self-forgiveness. It is a sacred art that is there for us to learn from whenever and whatever season. I remember when I used to walk along the country roads and giggle at myself about loving peonies when they were just about to bloom-you know how they get really full before they blossom-and then thinking about how much I hate that piece of ascension. The moment of fullness, before I burst out into new life; the transition. 
    • Pondering moments like this for me became a space of laughter and gratitude. Where I wouldn't have music, I would just walk and listen and see and explore and in turn find myself brimming with insight and forgiveness. With surrender. 
    • Whatever you find on your walk, know that it is there for you.
  • Option 2: Spending time reading through all that I have written on this journey thus far, and listening. Searching. Diving into those words and seeing if you can uncover any pattern. Not nit picking or modifying, but hearing. Where do you need tending to? What no longer serves you? What causes pain? Where can you receive love.



Pep Talk -

I understand the pain of surrender. I know the depths of which you walk, and thus I value your intentionality with this work. Forgiveness is to be felt, not just extended on principal. You get to choose how and what you release, and how and what you receive. It is a gift to walk these roads, and it should feel that way, even when it's hard. You should feel the freedom coming in, and if you're not. Slow down. Take a deep breath. Rest. Create a boundary. It won't be easy, but this is about receiving life in the NOW not just in the destination.


Mantra/Prayer/Meditation -

I am important. Every single memory, every single tendency, every single cell of me is important. I have the opportunity to feel now, to rest in feeling and sway in feeling. I have choice and freedom and what my task is...is to accept it. I are more than what I am not ready to release. 


 
 
 
THE UNCOVERING (3).jpg
 

UNCHARTED WATERS

 
 
 

LOVE NOTES:
 

  • I was born to live wild and free, unbound by the rules of the world.
  • I was born to live abundantly and strong, as Love goes before and after me all the days of my life. 
  • I was born to be unique, and not fear the deep waters. 
  • I was born to rise.



REMINDERS:

Past’s Voice - fear, isolation, blame, heaviness.

Love’s Voice - forgiveness, grace, understanding, validation, support, truth.

Your Voice - unique, powerful, important, human.

 


INTENTION:

We all wish to be led, but most of the time we forget that true Leadership comes from within. The trust, discernment, and strength that comes from knowing who you are, and where you stand, and that you have it. You have yourself. To choose Love, because you've learned to know Love and what Love could provide. To give Love, because you feel Love and call it by name. To walk through healing, in deep and powerful and raw and horrible and beautiful ways, is choosing to feel. We chose to feel, so we know what we feel, because for so damn long we were just numb.

Unless we feel our freedom. Unless we feel our expansion. Unless we feel our healing...do we we really know it or know what it should feel like when have it?

I remember the days when I was told what my freedom should feel like, and how I should express it. I remember feeling even more broken inside because what I was told it should be, wasn't my truth; it wasn't how I felt. It took me trusting my heart, and going where I knew I needed to in healing, to stand where I do today. It took some major guts, but that's a story that doesn't need to be told...because you are living it.

Homework - 


What do I know about myself, and how am I leading with wholeness instead of burning out in the singular?
 

  • So often we have had to choose to operate out of one space (warrior mode, parent mode, partner mode, etc), because we didn't have the space or freedom to step back in order for all of us to step forward. We just had to continue, compartmentalize, and get shit done. We were never given the permission to stop, or if we had it we didn't know how to receive it because it was never really an option before and we couldn't trust it. Thus, we are choosing to now trust ourselves. 
  • We all know it well, no matter how deeply we respect the philosophy we're not going to actually own it unless we do it. Theory is beautiful, but what we know is stronger because it's experienced. 
  • Moving into our businesses/dreams/goals, we tend to transfer this ethic of what we've experienced (pushing and compartmentalizing and hustle) into how we understand our goals. It takes time to rewrite these leanings, just like it takes time to redefine our definitions of life and feeling. But it doesn't mean it's impossible. 
    • Step 1: Recognize where you feel the most burnt out. Where does burn out come in your body, where do you feel most tired and without. 
    • Step 2: Why do you feel exhausted and neglected there, and what can we do about it?
    • Step 3: How can we find balance in over-giving in this area, by rewriting the rules?


As I move into the next two days of rest and reconnect to all I am learning, what is my intention?We are moving from ideals into freedom. We are taking these tools are making them ours. To become our Gardener, we must be patient. 

 

  • This journey will expand your life and journey in ways that will blow your beautiful mind as you look back on it. Standing in the present, instead of just white knuckling through, will allow us to rise without burn out. To have the dust and water and wind settle as we carve our brilliant paths in the wilderness, so we can see it and Love it...instead of just run through it and reach expansion not aware. 
  • I rushed a lot of things, this is your opportunity to pick up that journal again, sit in your safe space, and process. To be you. 

Pep Talk -

Being wild and free means breaking shit. It means being willing to say "I'm not playing the game this way anymore," and choosing to own your wholeness. Permanent self-love is all about stability and balance. The practical steps to living wild and free begin with living with hope. 

To know tomorrow isn't just another set of to-dos that you can't complete. To know today isn't just another set of rules. To know your dreams aren't bound by common thought. To know your freedom can be real, even if what you've experienced (or maybe done) is shunned by the world. 

Because you, beautiful soul, are so important. You are so important. Your worth, your enoughness, your beauty, your intelligence, your strength, your courage, your might, your brave, your wisdom, you unique gifts...they get to change your world before they change thee world. So, let's go and break some shit together. 


Mantra/Prayer/Meditation -

I am intrinsically enough. My worth isn't based on anything but the fact that I was born with it and it can never be stolen or taken from me. I am a born leader, and I am daily becoming the leader of my own heart. I am wild and free, because I am.



 
 

FREE MEDITATION