My healing was a 24/7 culture shock. Everything I knew had to be striped down to the root so that I could relearn how to live life, unbound. I had to walk through hell, whilst balancing past experience and present growth, in order to to relearn what it meant to be whole, without being weighed down by that wholeness...(And holy fucktards, it was intense)
I like to say that my experience isn't my gift, but my gifts were refined by my experience. It took an active participation in my life to till my soil, clean off my tangled roots and allow them to expand out to their potential, then slowly replant them in new ground so they could cultivate fruit. (Which is a fancy and eloquent way of saying, you can't thrive, or understand your divine purpose, if you're covered in crap.) Even though my life is incredible, and I wouldn't trade it for the world, I had to personally choose to give purpose to my life, rather than just passively agree that beauty could come from my ashes. I had to choose to make room for purpose, by tilling the shit fest that was my brain box and HeartGarden, after enduring so much as a child. I had to slowly and painfully tend to my tangled roots, and recognize that they weren't bad they just weren't in the right soil, in order to know their purpose and how to use them well. It's a process, and it always will look different (in every season, for every person, in all of time.)
My decision to forage paths in the wasteland, even when I had no concrete truth to cling to, is reflected in every single thing I do in my life. I can now stand on any ground, because the ground I cultivated within is strong enough to carry me anywhere I go.
From my business, to my personal intimate relationships, to my conversations with the cashiers at the grocery store, my life is filled with intention, and everything is viewed through the eyes of grace, understanding, and deep trust. Don't get me wrong, I'm not by any means someone who skips around like she's in a tampon commercial all the time, I have my moments. Particularly as a deep empath, I tend to get to points where I just have nothing to give and I get a bad case of the OverGivingGrumpies. However, this way of SkylerLiving is something I needed to discover for myself in order to walk out life, whole and unafraid. To proclaim that I am no longer unsafe, and that I have choice, no matter what I come up against. To sprinkle the fuck out of my Grace, Guts, & Glitter wherever I go.
After all you've endured, after all you do for others, after all you've already done and all you're striving towards, living whole is for you. It will always be for you. This healing journey is your choice. It's your road, your path, your beautiful expansion. It's where you have freedom. Where (we) get to choose freedom for us, no matter what that looks like on any given day.
For everything stolen, everything hurt, everything lost, every mistake, every failure, every heartbreak, this is for it all. To honor it, to love it, to free it, to reclaim it. We get to feel, we get to choose purpose, we get to discover, we get to find balance, we get to fucking choose...all-the-damn-ways. We get to be free.